The McDonalds Manifesto

Date: 20 Sep 1995 02:35:23 GMT

[This article originally appeared on September 13 in alt.conspiracy.
The author did not return e-mail (after all, it's just a public use
account).  Reprinted without permission.  The article has been
reformatted to fit within 80 columns.  -- Moderation Team]

From: Public Terminal User <libwww@cnsunix.albany.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.conspiracy
Date: 13 Sep 1995 18:47:55 GMT
Organization: The University at Albany
Message-ID: <43790r$msp@rebecca.albany.edu>

  The following document was found under a McDonald's employment flyer
on a service tray on September 8th.  The establishment was just like
any other McDonald's in the Northeastern United States.  It is
suspected that this flyer was distributed at other locations around the
nation, and maybe the world.  The only unusual feature of the document,
other than its content, was the three red letters in the lower
leftmost corner, "ELF."
  I take no personal responsibility for the contents of the following
document, I only offer it as a tool to foster discussion.

_____________________________________________________________________

			*The McDonald's Manifesto*

					I.  Lies

	It is no secret that the McDonald's Corporation is the nation's
largest fast food chain.  It is no secret that the corporation claims,
and most probably has, served billions.  It is no secret that one of
the major marks that the corporation has indelled upon American society
is excessive, aggressive fast-food advertising.  Turn on your
Television any hour of the day and watch for a half hour, and chances
are if you're tuned into any of the major networks- you'll see a
McDonald's advertisement in that time frame.  It is no secret that one
of the major target audiences of said advertising is America's
children.  In fact, over 65% of the 1994 fiscal year McDonald's
advertising budget went to promotions associated with children.  As
Hollywood produces a new rash of summer movies to sucker our kids in
with; McDonald's brings up the rear with innumerable plastic toys and
cups.  Although McDonald's cannot be held totally accountable for
today's market practices in the fast food industry; they have been
without a doubt the major player and trendsetter.

	Although not a carefully guarded secret most American's may be
unaware that McDonald's, the world's largest Multinational fast-food
Marketer is owned by an English corporation.  In August 1995's "Time"
magazine an article reported the corporation's ownership.  The article
also mentioned that the Queen of England has been reported to have
expressed a seemingly impossible wish to reacquire the colonies; to
retake control of the United States of America that her throne lost 219
years ago.  Although on the surface this may seem a simple and
understandable pipedream of the English monarchy, we believe it merits
some serious consideration.

	The average American city (population > 40,000) has almost 30
McDonald's Restaurant's, not counting regional offices and distribution
centers.  Even small towns are littered with these icons of the modern
fast-food industry.  This apparent blanketing of the American
countryside may seem like a sign of success, but we believe that each
new establishment is the fortification of an inconceivable plot against
the government and the population at large of the United States of
America.

	The McDonald's Corporation had been trying to convince us its
only concern was the happiness of Billions of its customers.  The sun
doesn't set on this hamburger Empire, and its lies never cease.


					II.  Accusations

	It is our contention that the organization which infiltrates
this great country calling itself "McDonald's" is committed not to
delivering us with "Happy" meals- but is in reality conspiring to
destroy the very fabric of our society.  In the past this has been done
is subtle and unnoticed ways.  We believe that these subtleties serve a
greater more direct plan which will not be fully realized until it is
too late.
	Imagine if you will an army which had stations within enemy
territory, as many as 30 or more in every major city.  Imagine supply
centers for that same army in each of those cities.  Imagine fleets of
transport for this army, traveling back and forth night and day
shuttling cargoes of precious supplies.  Imagine multi-billion dollar
propaganda campaigns right in the homes of every enemy home.

	Imagine every child of the opposing forces begging their
parents to be served by the invaders.  Imagine those children with open
arms to an invasion force that sleeps in our back-yards.

	This is a frightening situation.  This army lurks in every town
and every city, waiting for its cue from across the Atlantic.  When
the moment is right, they will strike.  And we will be powerless to
stop it.  For all we know, we have already been drugged and subdued
with sub-conscience messages to accept and help this horrible invasion
and will be left powerless to fight.


					III.  CounterStrike


	We who shall remain nameless, pass on to you the American
people the possibility of survival.  We do not claim to know the extent
of the powers of the McDonald's Conspiracy- but we feel we must do our
best to spread the word to wary American's.  Gather your closest and
most trusted allies and show them what we have learned.  Do what you
can- find out what lurks behind the closed doors of those mysterious
red huts.  Find out what comes in and out of distribution centers.
Above all you must not patronize the establishment--do not consume any
of their foods, do not contribute to their wealth.  Do not give them
another slave.  Change the channel when their advertising comes on.  Do
not let your children beg you for Happy Meals and plastic toys, teach
them too to fear the malignant McDonald's.

	Stop this cancer that spreads over the flesh of this land.
Beware the Secret Sauce.