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THE IMPERIAL MANIFESTO OF USENET
From: asdamick@unity.ncsu.edu (The BOB(c))
Date: 21 Jul 1995 19:29:04 GMT
Organization: USENET Imperial Capital
X-Url: http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/
X-Grep-Fodder: kibo bob fnord spam flame troll
X-Pledge: I am a decent human being. Or not.
X-Newsgroup-To-Support: alt.pub.cafe-bob
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Good Gentles of USENET, as I have been proclaimed Emperor of USENET
(http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/emperor.html),
I do hereby give to you the Manifesto of my plans for the Empire.
On the most essential level, the Empire of USENET shall not seek to rule
in any sense to which you are used. In fact, this is mostly just a
source of entertainment. Most of the people who ask for lands and titles
get them, unless the Empire has other plans, of course.
In order to keep the Empire authentic, We shall organize our realm into
Kingdoms, Principalities, and Baronies. The recipients of any lands or
title may place the honor(s) in his or her .signature, and is in fact
encouraged to do so.
KINGDOMS
Top-level hierarchies shall be ruled by the Kings and Queens of my
choosing, one for each. There shall be no officially recognized consorts
for these rulers. All power for each Kingdom shall be in one person,
under the Empire. The formal address for these persons shall be "Your
Majesty."
PRINCIPALITIES
Second-level hierarchies shall be considered Principalities, to be ruled
by a Prince or Princess. These Principalities shall come into existence
only for hierarchies in which there is more than one newsgroup for the
tree, such as alt.folklore.*. These persons shall be addressed formally
as "Your Serene Highness." A Principality shall be granted by the Empire
or by Kingdoms.
BARONIES
Individual newsgroups and any hierarchy with three or more elements shall
be ruled by Barons or Baronesses. There shall be one ruler for each
newsgroup or hierarchy of this type. If it is a hierarchy, it shall be
ruled by one person, and there shall be no Baronies within the multiple
groups within that hierarchy. These persons shall be referred to as
"Your Excellency." A Barony shall be granted by the Empire or by Kingdoms.
KNIGHTHOODS
The Empire shall name certain individuals of merit to be Knights for Our
Empire. These persons shall be known as Knights of USENET. The individual
Kingdoms may also grant Knighthoods. These persons shall be known as
Knights of their own hierarchies, such as a Knight of Alt.*. Those on
whom Knighthood is bestowed shall be known as "Sir," whether of male or
female gender, as was practiced many centuries ago. It is optioned to
the female gender to be known as "Mistress."
LORDSHIPS
Lords and Ladies shall be individuals of merit whom the Empire or the
Kingdoms see fit to be Our nobility. They shall be known as "Lord" and
"Lady."
OTHER TITLES
The Empire and the Kingdoms reserve the right to bestow whatever other
titles they so choose, with the exception of Counties and Duchies. All
titles shall be approved by the Empire before a precedental title is set.
OUR DECLARATIONS OF TITLES AND LANDS ON THIS DATE
The Kingdom of Alt.*
The Kingdom of Alt.* shall be awarded to Her Majesty Queen Wednesday,
known to some as Beverley R. White (wednsday@tezcat.com). Any claim
previously held to the aforesaid Kingdom of Alt.* by Joel K. Furr is
hereby revoked. All his lands, titles, and privileges ate stripped from
him until such time as the Empire deems fit to return them.
The Principality of Alt.magick.* shall be ruled by Our Herald King of Arms,
His Serene Highness, Prince Shawn Clayton Knight, the Established Minor
Figure (knightster+@CMU.EDU). He is also given the Barony of
Alt.culture.shawn, to pay homage to the Principality of Alt.culture.*.
The Principality of Alt.folklore.* shall be ruled by His Serene
Highness, Prince David DeLaney (dbd@panacea.phys.utk.edu).
The Principality of Alt.culture.* shall be ruled by His Serene
Highness, Prince Gardner S. Trask III, the First .cultured Man on the
Internet (trask@world.std.com), who shall rule also his Barony of
Alt.culture.gard-trask.
The Barony of Alt.usenet.tjames shall go to His Excellency, Baron T. James
Madison (tjames@netcom.com), to pay homage to the Principality of
Alt.usenet.*, when such time has come that it is ruled.
The Barony of Alt.culture.jesse-garon shall be ruled by His Excellency,
Baron "Jesse Garon" (grifter@primenet.com), to pay homage to the
Principality of Alt.culture.*.
The Barony of Alt.religion.mormon shall be under the hand of His
Excellency, Baron Yeechang Lee (ylee@columbia.edu), to pay homage to the
Principality of Alt.religion.*, at such time as its ruler is named.
The Barony of Alt.sex.hello-kitty shall continue to be ruled by its
ancestral heir, His Excellency Baron Carlos "Froggy" May
(froggy@neosoft.com), to pay homage to the Principality of Alt.sex.*, at
such time as its ruler is named.
The Barony of Alt.fan.drmellow shall continue to be ruled by His
Serene Highness, Prince Dr. Mellow (drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu). He shall
also be Baron of Alt.butts,
The Barony of alt.tv.rockford-files shall be ruled by Her Excellency,
Baroness Stacia, the Avocado Avenger (srm12@ksu.ksu.edu).
The Palatine Barony of Alt.*kibo*, spanning many hierarchies, yet
independent of the Principalities in which they reside, shall continue to
rest with His Excellency, Baron James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com).
The Kingdom of News.*
The Kingdom of News.* shall have as its ruler Her Majesty, Queen Abby
Franquemont-Guillory (abbyfg@tezcat.com). The Kingdom is hers to grant
title and lands as she or the Empire so chooses.
The Kingdom of Rec.*
The Kingdom of Rec.*, the Principality of Rec.games.*, and the Barony of
Rec.arts.erotica shall continue to be ruled by Her Majesty, Queen
Discord, who is Tina Sikorski (tina@tezcat.com).
The Principality of Rec.autos.* shall be ruled by His Serene Highness,
Prince Joseph Staudt (joes@telxon.com).
The Principality of Rec.pets.* shall be ruled by her Serene Highness,
Princess Cindy Tittle Moore (tittle@io.com).
The Principality of Rec.photo.* shall be ruled by His Serene Highness,
Prince Dr. Mellow, who shall also be Baron of Rec.autos.sport.* (to pay
homage to the Principality of Rec.autos.*) and of
Rec.music.country.western, to pay homage to the Principality of
Rec.music.*, at such time as its ruler is named.
Knighthoods of USENET are hereby awarded to:
Sir Bruce Tomlin (btomlin@crl.com)
Sir Alex "Yonderboy" Suter (asuter@netcom.com)
Sir Michael Straight (straight@email.unc.edu)
Sir Michele Tepper (mtepper@panix.com)
Sir Andrew C. Bulhak (acb@cs.monash.edu.au)
Sir David Guntner (davidg@netcom.com)
Sir Doctress Neutopia (neutopia@external.umass.edu)
Sir Terra Goodnight (terra@clark.net)
Sir John Wash (jwash@ch9000.chem.ncsu.edu)
Lordships are hereby awarded to:
Lord Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com)
Lord Thomas Boutell (boutell@netcom.com)
Lord Doctor Roger David Carasso (rdc@carasso.com)
The Poet Laureate of USENET shall be His Excellency, Baron "Jesse Garon".
We have not yet finished Our rewarding of USENET for her service to the
Empire, but shall speak with you again at such time as We see fit to
declare more titles and lands. The rulers of the Kingdoms and
Principalities may begin distributing the lands and titles within their
rule is as proper and appropriate.
Meanwhile, the unclaimed Kingdoms and titles shall be contested. In
whatever way you desire, prove your nobility and the Empire and Kingdoms
shall recognize those whom We see fit to rule Our lands.
Further declarations shall proceed from Ourselves or from Our Imperial
Herald, His Serene Highness, Prince Baron Shawn Clayton Knight.
His Imperial Majesty The BOB(c), Emperor of USENET
http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/
You are at the end of article 49 of alt.usenet.manifestoes.
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