You are reading article 49 of alt.usenet.manifestoes.
[Next] [Previous] [Index]

THE IMPERIAL MANIFESTO OF USENET

From: asdamick@unity.ncsu.edu (The BOB(c))
Date: 21 Jul 1995 19:29:04 GMT
Organization: USENET Imperial Capital
X-Url: http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/
X-Grep-Fodder: kibo bob fnord spam flame troll
X-Pledge: I am a decent human being.  Or not.
X-Newsgroup-To-Support: alt.pub.cafe-bob


             ___ __  __ ____  _____ ____  ___    _    _
            |_ _|  \/  |  _ \| ____|  _ \|_ _|  / \  | |
             | || |\/| | |_) |  _| | |_) || |  / _ \ | |
             | || |  | |  __/| |___|  _ < | | / ___ \| |___
            |___|_|  |_|_|   |_____|_| \_\___/_/   \_\_____|

          __  __    _    _   _ ___ _____ _____ ____ _____ ___    
         |  \/  |  / \  | \ | |_ _|  ___| ____/ ___|_   _/ _ \   
         | |\/| | / _ \ |  \| || || |_  |  _| \___ \ | || | | | 
         | |  | |/ ___ \| |\  || ||  _| | |___ ___) || || |_| |
         |_|  |_/_/   \_\_| \_|___|_|   |_____|____/ |_| \___/   

                               ___  _____
                              / _ \|  ___|
                             | | | | |_
                             | |_| |  _|
                              \___/|_|


                                                                     
  888     888  .d8888b.  8888888888 888b    888 8888888888 88888888888
  888     888 d88P  Y88b 888        8888b   888 888            888
  888     888 Y88b.      888        88888b  888 888            888
  888     888  "Y888b.   8888888    888Y88b 888 8888888        888
  888     888     "Y88b. 888        888 Y88b888 888            888
  888     888       "888 888        888  Y88888 888            888
  Y88b. .d88P Y88b  d88P 888        888   Y8888 888            888
   "Y88888P"   "Y8888P"  8888888888 888    Y888 8888888888     888




Good Gentles of USENET, as I have been proclaimed Emperor of USENET 
(http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/emperor.html), 
I do hereby give to you the Manifesto of my plans for the Empire.


On the most essential level, the Empire of USENET shall not seek to rule 
in any sense to which you are used.  In fact, this is mostly just a 
source of entertainment.  Most of the people who ask for lands and titles 
get them, unless the Empire has other plans, of course.

In order to keep the Empire authentic, We shall organize our realm into
Kingdoms, Principalities, and Baronies.  The recipients of any lands or 
title may place the honor(s) in his or her .signature, and is in fact 
encouraged to do so.



KINGDOMS

Top-level hierarchies shall be ruled by the Kings and Queens of my 
choosing, one for each.  There shall be no officially recognized consorts 
for these rulers.  All power for each Kingdom shall be in one person, 
under the Empire.  The formal address for these persons shall be "Your 
Majesty."


PRINCIPALITIES

Second-level hierarchies shall be considered Principalities, to be ruled 
by a Prince or Princess.  These Principalities shall come into existence 
only for hierarchies in which there is more than one newsgroup for the 
tree, such as alt.folklore.*.  These persons shall be addressed formally 
as "Your Serene Highness."  A Principality shall be granted by the Empire 
or by Kingdoms.


BARONIES

Individual newsgroups and any hierarchy with three or more elements shall 
be ruled by Barons or Baronesses.  There shall be one ruler for each 
newsgroup or hierarchy of this type.  If it is a hierarchy, it shall be 
ruled by one person, and there shall be no Baronies within the multiple 
groups within that hierarchy.  These persons shall be referred to as 
"Your Excellency."  A Barony shall be granted by the Empire or by Kingdoms.


KNIGHTHOODS

The Empire shall name certain individuals of merit to be Knights for Our 
Empire.  These persons shall be known as Knights of USENET.  The individual 
Kingdoms may also grant Knighthoods.  These persons shall be known as 
Knights of their own hierarchies, such as a Knight of Alt.*.  Those on 
whom Knighthood is bestowed shall be known as "Sir," whether of male or 
female gender, as was practiced many centuries ago.  It is optioned to 
the female gender to be known as "Mistress."


LORDSHIPS

Lords and Ladies shall be individuals of merit whom the Empire or the 
Kingdoms see fit to be Our nobility.  They shall be known as "Lord" and 
"Lady."


OTHER TITLES

The Empire and the Kingdoms reserve the right to bestow whatever other 
titles they so choose, with the exception of Counties and Duchies.  All 
titles shall be approved by the Empire before a precedental title is set.



OUR DECLARATIONS OF TITLES AND LANDS ON THIS DATE


The Kingdom of Alt.*

The Kingdom of Alt.* shall be awarded to Her Majesty Queen Wednesday, 
known to some as Beverley R. White (wednsday@tezcat.com).  Any claim 
previously held to the aforesaid Kingdom of Alt.* by Joel K. Furr is 
hereby revoked.  All his lands, titles, and privileges ate stripped from 
him until such time as the Empire deems fit to return them.

The Principality of Alt.magick.* shall be ruled by Our Herald King of Arms, 
His Serene Highness, Prince Shawn Clayton Knight, the Established Minor 
Figure (knightster+@CMU.EDU).  He is also given the Barony of 
Alt.culture.shawn, to pay homage to the Principality of Alt.culture.*.

The Principality of Alt.folklore.* shall be ruled by His Serene 
Highness, Prince David DeLaney (dbd@panacea.phys.utk.edu).

The Principality of Alt.culture.* shall be ruled by His Serene 
Highness, Prince Gardner S. Trask III, the First .cultured Man on the 
Internet (trask@world.std.com), who shall rule also his Barony of 
Alt.culture.gard-trask.

The Barony of Alt.usenet.tjames shall go to His Excellency, Baron T. James 
Madison (tjames@netcom.com), to pay homage to the Principality of 
Alt.usenet.*, when such time has come that it is ruled.

The Barony of Alt.culture.jesse-garon shall be ruled by His Excellency,
Baron "Jesse Garon" (grifter@primenet.com), to pay homage to the 
Principality of Alt.culture.*.

The Barony of Alt.religion.mormon shall be under the hand of His 
Excellency, Baron Yeechang Lee (ylee@columbia.edu), to pay homage to the 
Principality of Alt.religion.*, at such time as its ruler is named.

The Barony of Alt.sex.hello-kitty shall continue to be ruled by its 
ancestral heir, His Excellency Baron Carlos "Froggy" May 
(froggy@neosoft.com), to pay homage to the Principality of Alt.sex.*, at 
such time as its ruler is named.

The Barony of Alt.fan.drmellow shall continue to be ruled by His 
Serene Highness, Prince Dr. Mellow (drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu).  He shall 
also be Baron of Alt.butts, 

The Barony of alt.tv.rockford-files shall be ruled by Her Excellency,
Baroness Stacia, the Avocado Avenger (srm12@ksu.ksu.edu).

The Palatine Barony of Alt.*kibo*, spanning many hierarchies, yet 
independent of the Principalities in which they reside, shall continue to 
rest with His Excellency, Baron James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com).


The Kingdom of News.*

The Kingdom of News.* shall have as its ruler Her Majesty, Queen Abby 
Franquemont-Guillory (abbyfg@tezcat.com).  The Kingdom is hers to grant 
title and lands as she or the Empire so chooses. 


The Kingdom of Rec.*

The Kingdom of Rec.*, the Principality of Rec.games.*, and the Barony of 
Rec.arts.erotica shall continue to be ruled by Her Majesty, Queen 
Discord, who is Tina Sikorski (tina@tezcat.com).

The Principality of Rec.autos.* shall be ruled by His Serene Highness, 
Prince Joseph Staudt (joes@telxon.com).

The Principality of Rec.pets.* shall be ruled by her Serene Highness, 
Princess Cindy Tittle Moore (tittle@io.com).

The Principality of Rec.photo.* shall be ruled by His Serene Highness, 
Prince Dr. Mellow, who shall also be Baron of Rec.autos.sport.* (to pay 
homage to the Principality of Rec.autos.*) and of 
Rec.music.country.western, to pay homage to the Principality of 
Rec.music.*, at such time as its ruler is named.


Knighthoods of USENET are hereby awarded to:

Sir Bruce Tomlin (btomlin@crl.com)
Sir Alex "Yonderboy" Suter (asuter@netcom.com)
Sir Michael Straight (straight@email.unc.edu)
Sir Michele Tepper (mtepper@panix.com)
Sir Andrew C. Bulhak (acb@cs.monash.edu.au)
Sir David Guntner (davidg@netcom.com)
Sir Doctress Neutopia (neutopia@external.umass.edu)
Sir Terra Goodnight (terra@clark.net)
Sir John Wash (jwash@ch9000.chem.ncsu.edu)


Lordships are hereby awarded to:

Lord Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com)
Lord Thomas Boutell (boutell@netcom.com)
Lord Doctor Roger David Carasso (rdc@carasso.com)


The Poet Laureate of USENET shall be His Excellency, Baron "Jesse Garon".



We have not yet finished Our rewarding of USENET for her service to the 
Empire, but shall speak with you again at such time as We see fit to 
declare more titles and lands.  The rulers of the Kingdoms and 
Principalities may begin distributing the lands and titles within their 
rule is as proper and appropriate.

Meanwhile, the unclaimed Kingdoms and titles shall be contested.  In 
whatever way you desire, prove your nobility and the Empire and Kingdoms 
shall recognize those whom We see fit to rule Our lands. 


Further declarations shall proceed from Ourselves or from Our Imperial 
Herald, His Serene Highness, Prince Baron Shawn Clayton Knight.



His Imperial Majesty The BOB(c), Emperor of USENET



http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/a/asdamick/www/

You are at the end of article 49 of alt.usenet.manifestoes.
[Top] [Next] [Previous] [Index]