My House

In The Middle Of The Web

Yeek, this document needs a lot of work. I recommend you try other stuff first, like my profile or virtual apartment, but if you insist on reading ahead, you may be underwhelmed...

I've chosen Jeopardy format. Go ahead, ask anything. Give me an answer, I'll tell you the question.

Umm...all right. Like what?

That's not an answer. I said, "Jeopardy format." Try again.

Gee...I'll try.

That's a start. "What will you now do in order to satisfy my capricious whims?"

So I'm supposed to make statements and you deliver questions?

"What's a question that sums up what's going on here?"

I get it. I make statements like: You drive this to work.

That's right. And then I make the questions, "What do I do with my 1989 Ford Escort Wagon?"

So, how about: These are Stephen's interests.

"What are writing, modern rock (especially Tori Amos, Kate Bush, P.J. Harvey and other female vocalists), Hapkido, hiking, reading and all kinds of games."

This doesn't make any sense. Couldn't you just list this stuff in a straightforward boring way? How can I make statements when I don't know anything about you? Am I supposed to guess where you went to college, for example?

"What are a bunch of whiny questions that ignore the format that I proposed?"

Fine. Let's try...U.C.L.A.

"What happens when the smog lifts in Southern California?" (Okay, so I stole that joke from Steve Allen.)

U.C. Berkeley?

[A bell rings brightly.] "Where did I go to college?"

Stephen was born here.

"What is London, England?"

Gah. Why am I doing this?

"What is a question that expresses the reader's boredom and frustration?"

Why did you bother to do this?

Because I'm narcissistic enough to think that people might read this, and deluded enough to think that people would find it funny?

My friends didn't think that version 1.0 of my home page was funny enough. They say it didn't zestily express my natural wit and charm. So it was a boring home page -- but is that a crime?

Apparently.

It's not enough to merely convey information -- one must entertain and deliver the requisite hipness and coolness. Hypertextually, even.

Groovy, I can dig it. I'm up to any challenge.

Wait, if this is Jeopardy, aren't there supposed to be categories and stuff?

"What is an interesting question that gives me a new idea?"

Coming maybe one day...Jeopardy

Thanks for playing.

These are just notes here at the bottom. Ignore them.

Stephen tends to fall in love very fast.

This is one thing that a lot of people don't know about Stephen.

This is Stephen's favorite movie.

This is how you pronounce "estephen"

Standard IPA-ASCII: [istiv^n]
Stress (and pause) on the first syllable.

This is how you got the nickname Zeigen.